Rettelse af denne engelske historie?

Ja, skulle lave en historie om denne proverb: Do not count the chicken before it is hatched. - Man skal ikke sætte alt på et bræt. I skal bare rette den, så vil jeg være rigtig taknemmelig, siden jeg tit oversær nogle grammatiske fejl, selvom jeg allerede har kigget igennem den og rettet. Desuden har jeg sat understreg, hvor Word har lavet en blå streg, men jeg kunne ikke finde noget der lød bedre.

Her er den så: Titel - Money on the table.

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Julie, who was walking home from her Aunt’s house. Her Auntie had given her five dollars and made her promise to give her daddy the four dollars as soon she got home. The one dollar left was to her enjoyment. To go home she had to go through the town centre. The town centre was full of activities that day. Activities that got Julies attention and made her grip on the one-dollar be much harder. Especially one game in the centre got her full attention.

The game was called Money on the Table and was hardly noticeable through all the other activities, but there was still a lot of attendees. Julie walked closer and saw a table with a timer. Next to the table was a big fat sand collared bag filled with money. Every time the timer rang, the participant groaned and gave a lot of money to a man dressed as a joker. The Jokerman then took all the money on the table and put it in the already full bag next to him.

Julie walked through the crowd and stood in the forefront with the other spectators to this money-filled game. Now Julie could see much better and she finally saw the Jokerman that was speaking to the crowd and potential participants. “Bet some money.” He said. “If you answer the mysterious question right. Then I will double up the money. If you lose. I will get ALL the money.” He said and looked around the crowd. After that, a lot of fat men, fit men and all kinds of men waved with their hands full of money. Therefore, the Jokerman chose a man, who then lost. Then the Joker chose another man, who also lost. That happened to all the men the Joker selected. Moreover, every time it happened, Julie laughed. She laughed louder and louder, and could not believe that the men was so stupid. Because she knew all the answers to the so-called mysterious questions like this one. “They have neither meat, feather, skin nor bones”. The Joker said and paused. “But they have fingers.”

Of course, Julie knew that the answer to the question was gloves, but instead of yelling answers like the crowd did. She laughed. However, she laughed louder, when the man guessed chicken. Stupid, Julie thought. He could not be any stupider.

Whenever Julie laughed, the Joker would look at her and give her a fine ironic smile that she could not figure out. However, she pushed the smile aside and could not wait to it was her turn. Although she doubted that, he would pick a young girl like her. Nevertheless, she convinced herself that her age would not be a problem. Because the rules did not mention age. But how much money could she bet?

Julie looked at the five dollars. Four dollars should go to her daddy, but then there was only one-dollar left. If she won – as she believed she would. Then the reward will only be two dollars, which was not that much. No, she thought. If she bet all the money, then she will get ten dollars and she will give four dollars to her dad, which will result six dollars to herself. Pleased, she finally decided to bet all the money and exactly at that moment, the Jokerman chose her.

Happy, she walked in front of the table and looked at the Jokerman that still had his fine smile plastered at his face. “You know the rules” the Joker said and continued. “So when I ask the question you have exactly one minute to answer.” Julie nodded. She was getting nervous, now that she betted all the money. She could clearly remember what her father said to games like this. “You could risk losing it all.” However, it was too late now.

The Joker smiled and asked. “This instrument can make all the sound and you can hear it. However, you cannot see the instrument or touch it. What is it?” Julie panicked. She did not think that the question would be so hard. Soon the minute would end. Maybe she could run with her money that was on the table, but as if, the Jokerman heard her. He took the money from the table and held it in his hand while he was smiling. “The time is over. Next time remember not to put all your money in one place. You risk losing it all.”

Then Julie went home. Wondering how to tell her Father and Aunt that she lost the five dollars to a stupid game.

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Desuden tusind tak for hjælpen :)